


In the English House

by dirkkun



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Other, and before the fic starts actually, ghost jake, the death is offscreen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-03
Updated: 2013-08-10
Packaged: 2017-12-22 07:10:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/910370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dirkkun/pseuds/dirkkun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rumors around town told that the house was haunted, of course, because no house can be left abandoned in a small town without being haunted. Or rumored to be.  Because as everyone knows, there were no such things as ghosts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> reuploading to an account that uses an email i actually use, whoops
> 
> anyways!! i haven't written a fic in years so im restarting with this. its going to be multiple chapters but i dont know how many yet? probably only a few honestly. sorry if it sucks ill probably rewrite it
> 
> unbeta'd so if you see any mistakes let me know

“Fuck John, fuck him and fuck his stupid shitty dare game. Looking around some shitty run-down hpuse no one had lived in for years? Really? Fucking cliché, god damn it that lameass Egbert, can’t even think outside the box.” Dave continues to grumble as he yanks open the door with his free hand, looking in when the door opens.

The house had been abandoned before he’d moved here, and according to John, before they were even born. Rumors around town told that the house was haunted, of course, because no house can be left abandoned in a small town without being haunted. Or at least rumored to be. Because as everyone knows, there were no such things as ghosts. 

Dave flicked on the flashlight after shutting the door behind him and adjusting his backpack, digging a hand into his pocket to tug out his phone, swiping through his too-many apps (when the hell did he even download half of these, what the fuck, he’s got to spend the night uninstalling half this shit) to find the camera, which he switches to video and turns on before starting through the house. 

“Here I am, in the totally not fucking haunted house. As you can see, there’s _fucking nothing_ here.” Dave says loudly, slowly panning the camera around the room. By nothing, he really meant nothing. The room was empty, no trace of furniture. There was dust in the carpet and dark shapes on the walls where they had been sunbleached around frames, but other than that, the room was entirely devoid of essentially anything. He continues through, down empty hallways. “I’m no detective, but the fact that fucking everything is gone leads me to believe that this house wasn’t even fucking abandoned and you’re a fucking idiot for believing them. Shit, this film’s getting a little meta, but who gives a fuck. John, you fucking suck. I’m going into the next room.” 

A hallway was the only exit of the entry room. Down the hall were two doorframes without doors on the right, which Dave assumed to be a dining room and a kitchen, and two doors on the left, with a staircase at the end of the hall. He glances around, and starts into the first door on the right. The room wasn’t quite as barren, but was still definitely not the room of a home that has been suddenly abandoned. A few pots stood along the window ledge, and the carpet was slightly intented in small circles. There was no wall between this and where the next open door was, but a sudden stop in carpeting for what was indeed the kitchen, where a long unused refrigerator and stove stood, surrounded by more than likely empty pantries and marble countertops. Dave kneels down, lowering his camera the areas where the carpet has been indented. 

“This was probably the dining room. Looks like there were only two chairs. Kitchen’s right over there.” Dave lifts the camera and shines the flashlight to the other room. “Still no fucking ghosts.” 

Across the hall was another nearly empty room. All that stood in that room was a large, long-dead palm tree near a window. Next to it was a bathroom. The medicine cabinet had been completely emptied, and the water had stopped running. Dave continued upstairs, spending his time looking around the first room on the right, nearly empty aside from dusty dead plants and dirt-filled pots, as with the rooms downstairs. The master bedroom was completely emptied out. 

“Last room. Doesn’t look like there’s a way into an attic, either. Turns out the people just fucking moved out, and no one was tragically murdered. I’ll do your stupid Ouija shit in here then I’m out.” Dave says for the camera, tucking his flashlight under his arm to grab the doorhandle and—

The door didn’t budge. 

“What the fuck?” He tries again, before groaning. “Fucking old doors.” He stops recording and sets down the flashlight, tucking his phone safely into his pocket before trying again, shoving the door with his free hand. It doesn’t budge. “Fuck!” He tries again, and out of frustration rams his shoulder against the door. 

It opens, Dave toppling to the floor as it flings open. 

The room isn’t empty. 

This room was still fully furnished, everything coated in a layer of dust. It appeared to be a boy’s room, probably teenaged. Movie posters were plastered over every inch, old comics and clothes strewn across the room. The bed, however, was neatly made. 

Dave quickly fished out his phone again, restarting his recording. 

“What the actual fuck is going on this room still has a ton of shit what the _fuck_?” Dave says quickly, voice a bit shaky. “No one’s touched this shit in years and the door was jammed what the hell did they just leave this kid here? Yo, man, this is some messed up shit, there was some messed up shit going down here fuck you Egbert if I die it’s all your fault for sending me to this shitty fucked-up family’s house.” 

Dave stops the recording, and out of a strange curiousity, continues to look around the room. 

Under the bed was a box, storing more comic books, and under those the stereotypical porno mags, a few featuring busty women and one featuring a well-built man in a cowboy hat. Next to the box were various VHS tapes in boxes of varying states of wear. The box for Weekend at Bernie’s appeared to have been taped back together repeatedly. 

The closet was packed with clothes, mostly shirts, only a few pairs of slacks. A pair of well-worn hiking boots were tossed in carelessly on top of nice, untouched loafers. A few pairs of tennis shoes were lined up next to it in varying states of wear and tear, one pair caked with mud. The drawers only revealed folded pairs of boxers and shorts. One drawer had a shoebox, filled with movie ticket stubs, almost embarrassingly sappy notes signed by “D.”, and polaroids of various people, most often an older woman, a pair of girls, and a blonde boy who more often than not covered his face. Shelves were lined with various books, mostly those about characters who went on some sort of adventure. Schoolwork that hadn’t been done was scattered across the desk under tools and pens. 

When Dave had thoroughly investigated the room, he kicks aside some of the clothes across on the floor, sets down his backpack and flashlight and sighs. He unzips it, tugs out a Ouija board in a still-sealed box, and flips it over to look over how to use it. 

“I would rather you not do that.” 

Dave drops the box, snatching up the flashlight to look around the room. 

“Who’s there?!” He says loudly, stumbling over his words as he turns towards the door, hands shaking. 

“Me.” Dave whips back around towards the bed and-

There was a teenage boy, no older than 16, sitting there. 

A slightly transparent boy. 

Smiling at him. 

“Hello. Who are you?” 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave gets chummy with a ghost.

“Holy fucking _shit_!”

“Calm down!”

“ _Get back_!”

The ghost – no, boy, _there were no such thing as ghosts_ \- on the bed had stood, blinking and staring, clearly confused, as if being nearly see-through and casually hanging out an empty house was absolutely _normal_. Dave had flung himself against the door, only to find out that it had been locked. 

“Fucking…let me out. Unlock the door.” He says, turning to the confused-looking creepy boy. He smiles sheepishly in return.

“It isn’t locked. It gets jammed from time to time.” He says simply. “Though. I don’t see why you’re in such a rush. Isn’t this an amazing experience? Meeting a ghost and all?” Dave scoffs in response, jerking on the door again.

“Very funny. You’re not a ghost. You’re fucking…I don’t know. Not a ghost. They don’t exist.”

“But I am!” He says, frowning. “I’m Jake. Jake English. I died something like fifteen years ago. And I can assure you, I am a friendly ghost.”” Dave stops, and turns to him, frowning in return.

“So…you’re like Casper.” 

“Something like that.” Jake smiles cheerfully. “Well, no, not quite. Real ghosts are a bit different than fiction. Boy howdy, did the differences sure took me by surprise! That’s why I wanted you to not use the board, by the way.” He adds, after a moment. “If you do manage to summon anything, it will be malevolent. Dangerous not only to you, but to me as well!” Nodding in response, Dave watches Jake move about the room. He glances over him, noticing he’d been wrong; the ghost didn’t stand as he’d thought, he floated a few inches above the ground. Jake looks over the desk, then kneels to the drawer that had the box, pouting ever so slightly. “Did you look through my things?”

“Yeah.” Dave says, dropping his hand from the doorhandle. “What, you didn’t see me do it?” 

“I was in the other room. I heard you stomping about, and I wanted to see what was going on.” Jake looks at him. “You never told me your name, chap.” 

“Uhh. Dave.” He replies flatly. “So you’re really dead.” 

“Yes.” Jake says, almost _too_ cheerfully. “I am indeed dead! “

“Did you die here? And you’re stuck here forever?” 

“Oh, no!” Jake replies, returning to his spot on the bed. “I died on behind the pizzeria on main street. Well, no, that isn’t right.” He taps his chin, looking a little thoughtful. “I was beaten there. I died in the hospital. I chose to live here instead of there though.” Dave crosses his arms, furrowing his brow.

“Beaten? What, you were beat up real bad, then died?” Jake nods once.

“Yes, precisely. I was cornered by some thugs. I thought I’d be able to take them on, but. Well.” He rubs his cheek, clearly embarrassed. “Clearly, I could not. I didn’t pick the fight, if that’s what you think!” He says quickly and defensively. Dave raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t respond. “No, they…didn’t like me for various reasons I’d much rather not get in to. Waited for me to be alone and chased me. I hit a dead end, turned around and...well, I’m sure you can imagine the rest.”

“Shit. Sorry, man.” Dave straightens up, stepping a step closer to Jake who waves a hand. 

“Bah. It’s in the past. No need to feel sorry about it now. Besides, they went on to lead miserable lives. I can find a bit of solace in that fact, I suppose.” Dave smirks at that, sitting by the boy, who perks up. “Oh goodness. That sounds terrible of me, I’m so very sorry! Erm…do you mind telling me about yourself, Dave? What do you like?” He shrugs, relaxing next to the ghost.

“Music.” He starts, laying back and staring up at the ceiling. “I make music myself actually. Raps and shit like that. And I take pictures sometimes, but I don’t know. They aren’t great. I draw comics, and run blogs. And I like dead stuff. Actually, that’s why I’m here. Dared my friend to streak through town square, so he dared me to come here sayin’ ‘Oh but you _love_ creepy dead things!’ Not people though. I mean, not usually.” He glances to Jake, who is nodding, intently listening. “I like dead animals and stuff. Fossils. Dinosaurs. They’re fuckin’ rad, man. Like, can you imagine what it’d be like to see a dinosaur? With how big they are and shit? God _damn_. And I mean, what did they _do_? Did ancient monkeys steal bananas like monkeys do now? Did they see bananas and think, ‘Shit, I need that’ and then just fuckin’ steal them? ” Jake grins brightly at that. 

“Oh, so you’re interested in paleontology?” He asks, and Dave nods in response. “I planned on studying archeology myself! Not quite the same, but similar. Ah, I myself do like skulls. I love skulls. There’s a skull at the middle of any adventure worth taking, if you ask me!” He says, crossing his legs on his bed. “And I do love adventure.”

“Awesome.” Dave nods once. “Must suck, though, stuck in your 90’s-ass bedroom if you love adventure so much.” 

“Au contraire, Dave!” Jake grins. “I’ve had a number of adventures! I’m not strictly bound to my house and I’ve explored the nearby forest many times! I even saw a bear once.” He nods once. “Of course, it’s nothing compared to some of the adventures I’d planned, but no sense in dwelling on that now.” He sighs. “And what exactly did you mean, ‘nineties-ass bedroom’?”

“Dude, pretty much nothing in here is cool. Well, I don’t know. Some of it may be cool in an ironic way. Like it’s so shitty its actually great. Especially the movies you have stashed away. Pretty much all of those are shitty, and most aren’t even shitty enough to be cool. But some are actually fucking fantastic in a shitty way.” Jake sighs loudly, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms, an indignant look on his face. 

“Honestly, lecturing me in ironies. I’m sure I’ve heard this all before.” He waves a hand dismissively, and Dave sits up, furrowing his brow. Before he can ask, Jake continues. “Can’t quite recall where, but I’m fairly sure _someone_ has said all of this before. Especially the jabs at my taste in films. They’re all fantastic, every one!” 

“Right, whatever you say, man.” Dave replies, to which Jake simply responds with a huff, before falling silent. The two sit in silence, before Jake clears his throat.

“Erm.” Jake start, biting his lip. “I just thought of something rather important. While going through my things, You, uhh. You came across the box with polaroids and notes, didn’t you?” Dave nods in response, and Jake sighs, before continuing. “Did any of the people in the photographs look at all familiar?” To that, Dave shakes his head, and Jake frowns, looking to his feet with a crestfallen look. He grips the sheets beside him (causing Dave to jolt in surprise when the sheets move ever so slightly), and chews his lip for a moment more, before continuing. “They’re...my friends and family.” He says, unprompted. “Well, mostly friends. My only family was my grandmother. I knew she’d left town but the others…I suppose they followed suit.” He bit his lip harder, quite clearly trying to keep it from quivering. “I was afraid they’d do so, but I suppose I always knew they’d leave. They have their whole lives to lead and all.” He falls silent again, loosening his grip on the sheets. “…I apologize. I haven’t seen another person in so long, I suppose I’m forgetting its ungentlemanly of me to speak of myself so much.”

“Nah, it’s cool.” Dave replies. “It’s kind of awesome really. You know. Hearing about a ghost. Morbid and sad as fuck, but it’s cool.” Jake nods once.

“I do believe I told you so from the start.”

“Yeah, you told me man. You told me about the ghosts.”

“I…feel as though that was a reference to something?”

“Shit, man, that’s right. I bet you don’t got internet in here, you don’t know Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff. C’mere, let me show you.” Jake curiously peers over to Dave, watching him tug his phone from his pocket. His eyes widen as Dave taps the screen, unlocking it with a swipe, and he watches in fascination as he opens the browser.

“Fuck!” He says loudly, excitedly. “That’s absolutely _amazing_!”

“No, man, what you’re about to see is amazing. Check it. Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff.”

“Erm..” Jake furrows his brow, reading as Dave scrolled. “I’m…not entirely sure I get it.”

“That’s ‘cause you don’t get the irony, do you?”

“Augh! Again with the blasted ironies!” Dave laughs.

“Can’t escape them, bro. You can’t escape the ironies.”

“Oh hush. Show me more about this delightful handheld touch device.”

“You mean my phone?”

“That’s…a phone?!”

“ _Dude_. How long have you been dead?”

“Something like fifteen years I believe? Oh hush up, stop laughing! You lucky little bugger, you try being away from people for fifteen years! Things change, you know!”

Dave wipes his eyes, tears streaming down his face from laughter. Poor guy. It wasn’t his fault.

But that didn’t mean it wasn’t hilarious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry this chapter sucks too but it was mostly to get a little backstory out there, like what jake is doing there and fully explaining why dave was there (kind of). i also didnt know how to end it but whatever. some actual plot will start next chapter.
> 
> by the way i think im going to update this every saturday. im actually going to be out of town next saturday so the next chapter will either go up early or be put off until monday but after that. every saturday. i hope. yeah.


End file.
